I hurt because of what we are now!

I hurt because you can’t make it go away,

I hurt because you try so hard to make it better!

I hurt because I miss you,

I hurt because I pushed you away!

I hurt because i can’t hear you laugh,

I hurt because the jokes don’t help us anyways!

I hurt because I gave you so much,

I hurt because you take everything from me!

I hurt because I allow it,

I hurt because you LET me allow it!

I hurt because the pain doesn’t stop,

I hurt because without the pain i don’t know who we are!

I hurt because you love me,

I hurt because sometimes I wonder if that’s enough!!

I used to write about everything under the sun, but now, the topic is the hardest thng to come up with!

Then again, I used to have a job where not much work was involved. I blogged and played on myspace most of the time and LOVED it!

Maybe you have a question for me that will spark some inspiration?

Tomorrow I will come up with something fan-FRIKKIN-tabulous!

Now that that’s explained, I will share with you my “DERRRR” moment!

The beau’s dads girl was talking to the beau’s little cousin and she was asking him if he was excited for banana boats when they go camping. He says yes and I chime in with “Is that what you call the flat round tube that you pull with the boat?”!!  Yeah, there was an uproar of laughs and the “kid” had to explain to me the difference!!

Mind you this was said at HIS family party….in front of some family members i’ve never met before!! I just giggled and told them I had a blonde moment!!

Reason #3,472 THAT I’M THANKFUL I RARELY FEEL EMBARRASSED!

“I got seperated from my group and they’re over there!”

“Excuse me!” *Brushing against my gorgeous boozums*

“I want to get a little closer!”

My BIGEEST pet peeve is people who try to work themselves through a crowd to get into the front, at a concert!

We went to the “Twilight Concert Series” last night! The venue is pretty sweet. They have a bridge for people to stand on to view the stage, they have food tents set up, beer beer beer beer beer, water fountains(that I wish were made of beer), little art tents, GREAT BANDS….did I mention the beer? Well, last night, I wasn’t having the beer…too long of a line AND I was there to enjoy the awesome band…Bon Iver!! Plus, i’m more of a sangria girl myself.

Anyways, we get there and find a pretty good spot..where on my tippy toes I could see people standing on the stage..and all was well and good. We waited for 45 minutes…45 MINUTES…for the band to come out! At which point, most people were already pretty anxious! The band starts jamming *freaking sweet, man*, but it happened, every person that wanted to get to the front of the stage…started pushing through the crowd and making up lame ass excuses. The most annoying part,all that most of these people are actually trying to do is be “cool”, be with the “in crowd”, and “try to act like they’re bad ass by listening to the same music as every other douche f*ck in there hip group of “cool ass friends” who don’t even know who the band is…can you do a quote in a quote?…Oh well! Basically, it feels like a breeding ground or pure social event…which it’s not…people(Mr. S and myself) are there to enjoy the band!

The whole time I’m basically feeling myself up! Momma’s got some “tig ol’ bitties” and she hates it when people constantly rub up against them in a crowd. So, she holds them . I had a guy putting his ass on me most of the time…HIS WHOLE ASS…!!! Mr. S(which is how i’ll refer to my boyfriend from here on out) was behind me(which is where i decided to put my ass *wink*)k!

Now, i’m an outgoing, fun loving kind of girl…but when you start pushing your way through a crowd and dancing like you’re on a dance floor….well, it’s not a time to mess with momma! I used to be afraid of punching people…however last night, I was SO GAME to do it! The disrespect some people have, pushing through a tight crowd so you can get to the front! It’s ridiculous!

Did I mention, i’m 4’11” and stood behind a guy that was probably 6’2 or so? He looked back at me a number of times and it’s like “Hey Mr. Tall, you’re still 2 inches taller than my man…can we please f*cking stand in front of you??” Like really…come the f*ck on people!!

I just needed to rant and rave for a moment I hope you enjoyed! I will be writing more…possible even nicer blogs soon

I have nothing witty or interesting to say at the moment. So, i’ll tell you a little story! This should give you some insight on some of the dumb shit that tends to happen to me.

I went on a glorious, much needed vacation to Hawaii in September of 2007! I went on this vacation with my maternal grandparents(whom paid for it!), my favorite cousin Angie, my uncle and his(at the time) new wife.  After traveling starting at 4:00AM Utah time, we arrived in beautiful Kauai around 2:00PM their time. I was so psyched to be there, and so excited to not have jet lag. When we got to the condo, before even settling in, my ass was antsy to get to the ocean!

So, Angie and I headed down. Beach front condos totally rock…FYI! I still remember the sight of it, absolutely breath taking. I hadn’t been to a beach in for-friggin-ever! Probably close to 14 years!! I pretty much run into the ocean, start screaming and run out of the ocean(mind you, my cousin had barely set foot in the water and once i screamed she was half way back to the condo…haha!). I look at my foot where it felt like i’d stepped on something sharp, no blood. After a few minutes, it swells and turns bright red. We walk back to the condo, well I limped. only to have my Gramps look at it and say, “Yep! It’s a jelly fish sting! I’d pee on you, but I just went!” I just about barfed, but politely said, “Thanks for the offer!”.

Thankfully, it wasn’t too bad, just a flesh wound. A little bit of ice and the swelling went down within an hour!

Can you imagine…first day of vacation…being stung by a jellyfish…after only being in Hawaii 3 hours! I thought it was pretty awesome. Everyone else however, thought it’d ruin my trip! Did I mention, at the time, I was afraid of fish….ALL FISH? This trip healed that fear right quick. I came back and was asking the beau if I could pet the fish in his fish tank…haha!

I have started so many different blogs, so many different names, so many different places, and i’m back to this one to stay! Hopefully.

Just a little reintroduction of myself..

My name is Tiffani Michelle. I am in my early 20′s(for 9 more months). I am a business assistant for a furniture manufacturer. I grew up in Utah and have never left.

As much as I love my family, friends and life in Utah, I don’t always love being here. I’ve always felt this wasn’t the place for me. I am not LDS, nor do I really claim a religion as of now. I know there is a higher power, I just don’t know that I should worship or follow the “rules” that churches set for a person. I like making my own choices, good or bad. I’m constantly on a quest for information on the subject and following where my spirituality and faith take me.

I live with my boyfriend of over 2 years now. Chad and I met on the internet…*giggles*. It doesn’t seem so crazy to do that anymore, but I really do wonder how many couples meet on the internet and actually stay together. Probably a lot. We have good days and bad days, but we make the most of the time we spend together.

Abigail and Lenny..Abigail is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and she is 2 and a half. Lenny is a Border Collie/Blue Heeler mix and he is almost 1 and a half. The 2 of them make me cry tears of joy so often. They are so funny and really just like little people. Although Abigail is the older of the two, Lenny takes  care of her…

That is the short of my life. I hope to continue posting on a regular basis.

Me: “Wait Wait!!! You wash your house?”

Him: “Ha..Everyone asks that!”

Me: “When I was younger, I washed my house…once!”

I’m still only running 1-2 miles a day, but the 5k is only 3.1 miles. So, i’m right about where I should be I still have 2 and a half weeks before the race for the cure, so i’m pushing.  My stamina is starting to get better, but i’ve just been out of shape for so long that working at it is hard and discouraging.  Everyday I push myself a little harder, and i’ll get there. I think this is the most i’ve stuck to an exercise routine in more than a year. I used to wake up at 3 AM and meet my girls at the gym 3 or more mornings a week. Now, I go home and chad and I hit the track. He runs a lot more than I do, but he’s a little more in shape, because he carries huge countertops around all day lol. He’s been a lot of help in this training. We’re running in memory of my aunt and his mom. It’ll be a great bonding experience for us, I think.

In other news, I had 3 birthday parties this year. One with Chad’s cousins/brother. One with my girls. And last night, my parents took us to dinner It was a great birthday this year. Chad bought me cute shoes(of course), my mom gave me money which i’m spending on Rock N Republic Jeans, and my cousin gave me a beautiful over shirt. It’s so pretty. I got spoiled this year

Well, i’m back to work now.

Hope everyone is doing well. I’m sorry I haven’t sent comments or anything. I don’t have rights to blogspot on my work computer and rarely get on the computer at home.

This is Chad and I up at his uncle’s gorgeous cabin. We held hands and jumped into 8 feet of snow. He literally had to dig me out. It was so worth it though.

Well, here they are. My beautiful kids. Lenny was just 8 weeks in this picture. We got him when he was 5 weeks and he was a third of the size than he is in this picture. They really do grow so fast.

I’ve ran it 2 times now and LOVE the feeling of crossing the finish line. It’s so emotional and very touching.

Today, I was researching some training for a half marathon and full marathon. Well, i’m only doing the 5k in the “Race for the Cure”, but i’m beginning to think I want to push forth and do the full 26.2 mile marathon next year.

I have to stay focused, strong, committed, and positive. I will succeed.